“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24 NKJV)
Friendliness produces friendliness
If you want to “have” friends you have to “show yourself” friendly. This is a simple biblical principle that works wonderfully! It’s an example of “reaping what you sow.” – Friendliness produces friendliness!
She was lonely, depressed and suicidal
A good example of this “friendly-produces-friendliness principle”is demonstrated clearly in the story about psychiatrist Dr. Milton Erickson, and his advice given to a reclusive woman who was lonely, depressed, and suicidal, and what happened to her after taking his great advice.
The ailing 52-year-old spinster lived in a rambling Victorian house with the heavy draperies drawn and dust gathering on faded upholstered furniture. Now wheelchair bound due to illness, the woman rarely went to church, an activity which had been her only social and spiritual sustenance for many years. She’d become isolated and depressed, even suicidal.
The woman’s nephew was a client of Erickson’s, and knowing the doctor would soon be traveling to Milwaukee for a speaking engagement, asked him if he’d be willing to call on his beloved aunt who lived there. Dr. Erickson agreed.
When Erickson arrived, the aunt invited him in and showed him around her gloomy house, it appeared as if nothing had been changed for many years. The furniture and household decorations showed a faded glory, smelling of musk. Erickson was struck by the fact that all the curtains were kept closed, making the house a depressing place to be in.
The aunt saved the very best for last, however, and finally ushered Erickson into her greenhouse nursery. This was her pride and joy; she had a green thumb and spent many happy hours working with the plants. She proudly showed him her latest project—taking cuttings from her African violets and starting new plants.
“Not a very good Christian”
Erickson told her that he thought depression was not really the problem. It was clear to him that her problem was that she was not being a very good Christian. She was taken aback by this and began to bristle, until he explained. “Here you are with all this money, time on your hands, and a green thumb. And it’s all going to waste! What I recommend is that you get a copy of your church membership list and then look in the latest church bulletin. You’ll find announcements of births, illnesses, graduations, engagements, and marriages in there—all the happy and sad events in the life of people in the congregation. Make a number of African violet cuttings and get them well established. Then repot them in gift pots and have your handyman drive you to the homes of people who are affected by these happy or sad events. Bring them a plant and your congratulations or condolences and comfort, whichever is appropriate to the situation.” Hearing this, the woman agreed that perhaps she had fallen down in her Christian duty and agreed to do more.
African Violet Queen
Twenty years later, in the Milwaukee Journal, a feature article appeared with a large headline that read “African Violet Queen of Milwaukee Dies, Mourned by Thousands.” The article detailed the life of this incredibly caring woman who had become famous for her trademark flowers and her charitable work with people in the community for many years preceding her death. Her last years were filled with many wonderful friends, a loving purpose, and much happiness! All because she had learned to reach out to others in need, and“show herself to be friendly” to them.
Closer than a brother
The last part of the promise verse at the top of this page says, “and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” And, that friend, of course is Jesus! Here is what He said about helping others:
“Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.” (Luke 3:10-11 ESV)
Golden
And the “golden rule” says the same thing: “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” (Matt. 7:12 NLT)
The Law of Reciprocity
And finally, even though you must always give unselfishly without expecting anything in return, when you do so, something very wonderful will begin to happen just the same. Social psychologists call it The Law of Reciprocity – and it basically says that when someone does something nice for you, you will have a deep-rooted psychological urge to do something nice in return. As a matter of fact, you may even reciprocate with a gesture far more generous than their original good deed. Obviously, that happened to the African Violet Queen in the story above. She got back more than she gave!
Therefore…
“Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.” (Psalm 37:3 ESV)
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9 ESV)