Posts tagged suicide
Your worst day could be your best day

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Prov. 16:9 ESV)

The “Worst” Day of My Life?

It was the winter of 1967 and I was living in Sitka Alaska and working at a grocery store. One day I was scheduled to work the late shift but the store manager called me into his office and fired me. He accused me of doing something the previous day that I absolutely had not done. But I could not prove my innocence and he angrily ordered me to leave the store. 

I did not see it coming 

In complete shock I headed home to my apartment. When I arrived, I found a bunch of my "friends" there having a party. We never locked our doors in Sitka back then and usually I wouldn’t have cared that they were there, but I wasn’t in a party mood. When I insisted they leave, they got mad, beat me up, and then they threw me outside into the snow. I pulled myself together as best as I could, then went to my landlord who lived nearby and told him about the drunken people at my apartment. I told him they wouldn't leave and had beaten me up. I asked him to help me get them out. But instead of agreeing to help me, he yelled profanities at me and said he was going to call the police. I quickly left the scene because I didn't want to be there when the police arrived.

I didn't know what to do or who to turn to 

It was a bitter-cold Alaska night and I was freezing. I walked to my parent’s house and knocked on their door. My dad answered. I told him I had gotten fired, that there was a drunken party at my place, that my landlord had called the police on me, and that I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I asked to come in and sleep on their couch for the night. But he angrily told me to grow up and take responsibility for my own problems and to go away. He shut the door in my face and turned out the porch light. 

I had no where else to go

I walked along the dark street feeling panic stricken, confused, rejected, and cold. I tried hard to figure out what to do next, but I couldn't think of any answers. I was completely out of options. It was at this point that I decided suicide was my only answer. I had some money in my pocket, I would get drunk first, then end my life!

I went to a bar and began to drink one drink after another. There was a small dance band playing music at the back of the room. During one of their breaks the band leader came to the bar near where I was sitting. As he waited for his drink our eyes met. He smiled and said, "How are you?" I said, "Do you really want to know or are you just saying that?" "He said, “Of course I want to know how you are." "Well," I said, "Today has been the worst day of my life! I lost my job! I got thrown out of my apartment and I was beat up by my friends! Even my own parents won’t let me sleep on their couch. Now I have nowhere to go, so as soon as I finish this drink I am going to end my life!"

Without hesitation he said, "No, please don't do that! My family and I live near here. We have a couch for you. Come and stay with us!"

I did what he said

Even though he had a wife and four small children, he brought me, a total stranger, into his home. His instant kindness kept me from the worse possible outcome. This person and his wife changed the course of my entire life. 

Shortly after going to live with them, he lost the bass player and instantly put me into his band. It seemed like a dream job to me. I had a place to stay. I had wonderful kind people to stay with, and I got to play music. I really loved it. I played music with them for several months while they finished up their contract in Sitka.

Then they decided to move to a town I had never heard of, Lynden, Washington, and they brought me with them! It was in Lynden that I heard about  Jesus Christ and received Him as my personal savior. I also met and married the woman of my dreams, Susan! I also began attending classes at Vancouver Bible College and became the executive director of the local Youth For Christ group. 

As I reflect over the past 

Things could have been very different for me if any of the events of that single “worst day of my life” had been different. 

1. If I had not gotten fired.

2. If my friends had not thrown me out.

3. If my landlord would have helped me.

4. If my parents would have allowed me to sleep on their couch.

5. If Jean Dawkins and I hadn’t gone to the bar at that exact moment.

6. If Jean hadn’t offered to help me. 

In retrospect 

It is easy for me to see, presently, how God had used a visiting bandleader, Jean Dawkins, to be at the right place at exactly the right time, even taking his break at exactly the right moment, to reach out to me and eventually bring me to Lynden, Washington, which was God's plan for me (Acts 17:26). I can plainly see now, how the worst day of my life was really the best day of my life, because God was directing things, even though I didn't know it.

Our God is awesome!

We serve a God we can trust to work out all our circumstances in perfect harmony with His perfect will. (Romans 8:28).

What have I learned?

  1. God is present and at work in our lives, even when it doesn't look like it (Heb. 1:14).

  2. God is able to work out every detail.

  3. With God, all things are possible.

  4. We can trust Him always.

  5. Even though things sometimes look terrible, they are NOT terrible.

  6. Our disappointments are often God's appointments!

  7. We should always praise Him no matter what things look like.

  8. Someday it will ALL make sense to us.

Therefore

“And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” (Isa. 58:11 ESV)

“Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.” (Isa. 48:17 ESV)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6 ESV)